As told by Katie

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Kristina Wyman's picture
Kaitlyn Akers

I have a confession to make and to be honest, it’s extremely embarrassing, but it’s something about me that most people need to know (unless you’re my roommates, then you already understand my problems).

I, unlike most people in this world, have the uncanny ability to never learn a lesson, even though I made the same mistake a million times.

I know what you’re thinking, Katie, a lot of people don’t learn lessons the first time around, and it’s no big deal. But that’s where you’re wrong; I’ve made the same mistake over and over and still have yet to learn my lesson.

But before I tell you what I’ve yet to learn, let’s start with the fact that I have an obsession with Grey’s Anatomy. Not like the tune in once a week, obsession, but the kind that has made me laugh, cry and even want to throw the remote at the television (this is what you do to me, Shonda Rhimes).

My love for this show has also brought me a lot closer to people (professors included) who I would have never guessed shared the same love for this show. To be honest, it should have been cancelled after Lexi and Mark died. Shonda killed the show after that (seriously, another half-sister?)

But I can’t stop watching it.

Maybe it’s because I can relate to most of the characters (minus the promiscuity and all the deaths) but more on a that is something I would say. I can even say I have the kind of friendship that Meredith and Cristina had (it’s still a little fresh for me to see her gone).

But unlike Meredith, I don’t learn from my mistakes. Comparing myself to a fictional character is ludicrous, I’m aware, but hear me out, I promise you that it makes sense (or maybe for those who don’t watch, it won’t, but hey, at least I tried).

Meredith has been to hell and back. From her mother, to her first sister, to Derek being shot, to George dying, to Izzy having a brain tumor, to being a mistress, to Derek’s job in Washington and to finally letting her best friend go, because it was all for the best.

The difference being, she had adapted, took the situation head on (with a few dance parties in between) and continued on with her life. She had learned that if you let every little thing affect you, you will be held back from succeeding.

And this is where my confession comes in. I have the mentality that yes, I failed at something by doing it one way, but instead of finding a new way to do it, or learning that it probably wasn’t the best thing to do in the beginning, I do it again the exact same way.

A more recent example would be from my internship last Wednesday. I have yet to learn the lesson that I’m not coordinated, and should therefore not text and walk. Comical example, I know, but I walked right into a hockey player from the opposite team and almost fell on my butt.
Admittedly, it was kind of awesome because it was a scene right outside of my favorite novel where the man stops the woman from falling and then they fall in love (I know, it’s far-fetched but you get where I’m going.)

It was up until last Wednesday that I hadn’t really learned my lesson (the real ones, not my walking and texting one). It had hit me during second period intermission that if I never learned from my lessons, I was constantly at a stand-still. I was the person who stayed behind while everyone else moved forward.

Like Meredith, I want to succeed in life. I want to be that strong, independent woman who can walk into a surgery room (or something similar) and know with full confidence that this is what I was meant to do.

Those lessons that I never learned led me to where I am today. And I’m okay with that, because if I didn’t make the same mistake more than once, I wouldn’t be where I am today. I wouldn’t be able to know wholeheartedly that I finally learned not only my lesson, but who I am.
Slowly, but surely, I’m learning that making the same mistakes has taught me so much about myself. I have the capability to be something better.

In some form, I’m Meredith, shades of grey and everything.

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